Jan. 4—Florida Man rented a violin yesterday. It’s a fairly long story but I’ll tell it anyway.
This is was the way it was told to me by my mother. I was a 3-year-old whipper snapper, blond hair, adorable, cute as a button. We lived in an apartment in Kansas City where one of our neighbors was a violinist with the Kansas City Philharmonic. He wanted to see if he could teach a youngster to play the instrument.
My only record of this is a picture of a blond, adorable, cute as a button youth holding a little violin. I’m told it was me. I have no memory of lessons or playing and why should I, it was 80 freaking years ago.
So, I’m either trying to relive my childhood or start a new career. Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure, or it is nothing.” And Grandma Moses said something or other.
Anyway, the store where I got a really good looking violin is called Fiddleshop. It’s a hidden gem and by hidden I mean it can only be found by Siri. It’s a beautiful store. They have violins of all sizes hanging on the wall, violas, cellos and rows of bows and other accessories and fancy cases.
I was the only customer so I got the royal treatment but I think they give everybody the royal treatment. I asked if they did a lot of mail order business and Greg told me about 90% of their business was by mail. He said that there are only four stores in the country that have their kind of inventory.
I asked if he had ever seen a Messiah Antonio Stradivari, now valued at $20 million, and he said no but they did have violins for $20,000 and more.
At any rate, they outfitted me with a shiny, tuned violin, a bow, rosin and a violin case. Rent is $25 a month for the whole package.
When I got home I unpacked everything right away, tucked it under my chin and started to practice. Initially, there were a lot of screeches and other mysterious sounds, but after half an hour I made a l little progress. Less screeching, a more tuneful sound but no melody of course.
It seems you have to hold the bow at the right angle and you don’t use the entire length. I don’t know if that’s true for sure but I’ll find out.
Greg recommended that I get a lesson or two and he’s right. I’ll have to find a teacher who is willing to take on an old coot and see if he can be taught to play the violin from screech. I’m not asking for much. I just wanna fiddle because fiddlin’s good for the soul.
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