Dec. 10—Nadine Milford began a long crusade for reform after her daughter and three grandchildren were killed in a car crash on Interstate 40 west of Albuquerque on Christmas Eve in 1992.
After arriving at the scene on that bitter cold night, Nadine’s son Lance Milford told the Journal, he and his mother embraced as they tried to process what happened.
“The first words out of her mouth were: ‘We must forgive,'” he said. “I told her, ‘I don’t want to, Mom.’ She kept saying it: ‘We must forgive.'”
On Dec. 1, Vera “Nadine” Milford, 86, died from health complications, three decades after losing her daughter Melanie Cravens — whom she called her “sidekick” — and Cravens’ daughters, Kandyce, 9, Erin, 8, and Kacee Woodard, 5.
The drunk driver who drove the wrong way on I-40 and crashed into their vehicle, Gordon House, was convicted of vehicular homicide and sentenced to 22 years in prison.
Nadine Milford served with Mothers Against Drunk Driving New Mexico for years, pushing initiatives at the state Legislature that would try to curb drunk driving.
Lance Milford said his mother was MADD New Mexico’s president from 1996-2006. MADD New Mexico Executive Director Katrina Latka-Parkman called Milford a longtime volunteer “who served in a major capacity for our organization.”
Albuquerque Mayor Tim Keller called Nadine Milford a “New Mexican hero who transformed her unimaginable personal tragedy into a powerful movement that has saved countless lives across our state. … Her tireless advocacy changed our drunk driving laws to keep others from suffering the same devastating loss she did, and we will continue the fight in her memory.”
After the crash, Nadine Milford devoted her life to making sure others would not experience what she did.
“I figured, you know, I had lost everything,” she said in a 2020 interview. “What did I have to lose? I had nothing to lose, and it was about time this state woke up to the fact people were dying on the highway and it’s a preventable situation.
“This did not have to happen, and I determined in my heart of hearts it wasn’t going to, or at least, it was going to slow down. My girls didn’t die in vain, nope.”
One person Nadine Milford became friends with over the years was former MADD National President Karolyn Nunnallee, whose 10-year-old daughter, Patty, was killed in a drunk driving crash in Kentucky on May 14, 1988.
“I’ve never seen a woman work so hard to, number one, help victims; number two, help push for legislation that was lifesaving in the state of New Mexico and, basically, across the country,” Nunnallee said during a phone interview.
Nadine Milford championed DWI initiatives like the installation of ignition interlocks in vehicles driven by convicted drunk drivers in the state. In a 2002 story about a bill on the interlocks, the Journal reported that several legislators credited Milford “for persistently pushing for tougher DWI laws.”
“Nadine’s motto was ‘Persistence wears resistance,'” Nadine Milford’s friend Terry Huertaz said. “She did live that motto daily and it really showed in her advocacy.”
Nadine Milford was recognized locally and nationally for her work. In 2008, she received a public service award during the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration’s Lifesavers Conference.
“All the time she was doing this, she didn’t get paid one cent for her time,” Lance said. “Not one penny. She did this out of her heart because she truly cared for people and really wanted to solve this issue and make life better for people.”
In June 2002, Tom Udall — then a 3rd District congressman — gave a speech in the U.S. House of Representatives honoring Nadine Milford, saying she “comforted countless numbers of families who have been affected by a drunk driving death.
Udall added, “She could have sunk under the depression that engulfed her. Instead, she leaned on her deep faith and the love of her family and seemingly overnight transformed herself into the new face of DWI reform. Nadine could never have imagined that she would one day be tapped to lead such a worthy fight. Ultimately, I cannot think of anyone better to have done it.”
Relatives said Nadine Milford had an ability to forgive derived from her strong faith.
House, the drunk driver convicted for killing Milford’s family, was released from prison in 2009 after serving less than 11 years. Lance Milford said he remembered when his family spoke at House’s parole hearing.
“It was all about forgiveness and grace and allowing him to be released and to be with his family,” he said. “That was a big part of the healing process for us and for him.”